its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
