too bad you live with your parents still
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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