Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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