Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
