You're completely useless in the revolution.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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