so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize