Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i now understand why vodka
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
