how can u be prego again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
