I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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