How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
