I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
