I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
