you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
