I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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