I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
