How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
