shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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