I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize