What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
