i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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