god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize