i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
