I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
sex in a hospital.. check
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
