Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
