im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My dick has a subreddit
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize