you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The adults are the big ones right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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