Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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