with your own penis?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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