Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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