I love black thongs
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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