I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
