Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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