What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
