Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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