Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize