Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We are all done wearing pants today
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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