she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
