I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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