i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize