I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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