no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
