it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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