Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
