therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
God, I missed his penis.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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