sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
