Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
how drunk are you?
Several
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
