Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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