..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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