She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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