If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
