But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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