To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Someone signed my nipple.
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