dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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