walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
