Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
