Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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