i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Farmville is her only friend.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
